Whatzit?

My last post got me reminiscing and so I dug up this essay I wrote as a college freshman.  I wrote this shortly after I started a six month regimen of Acutane (a severe prescription acne medication) for cystic acne.

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Of my younger days -- if a man of eighteen can have "younger" days -- I recall a specific incident while working as a box-boy at a busy little small-town grocery store.  It wasn't a particularly bad day as I remember.  At least not until the dark spectre of childish ignorance cast its gloomy shadow upon me.  It was in the voice of a curious youngster.  "Hey, Mister, what's all them red spots all over yer' face?"  It seems that it is this one realization that has brought so much social despair to my young life: the realization that I have zits.

Zits.  Zits is a curious word; a slang substitute for that sick sounding term "pimple."  Personally, I'd much rather have a "zit" than a "pimple."  "Zit" just sounds more like what it stands for, whereas "pimple" brings to mind images of a midget who manages call girls.

Zits come in all shapes and sizes and even numbers.  Some people are fortunate enough to experience the glorious singular zit, while others, like myself, must be content to watch large herds of zits wander across their faces like homeless nomadic tribesman (white turbans included).  Sizes of zits range from the inconspicuous blackhead to that dreaded enemy of cosmetic perfection: the pustule.

Indeed I realize, and it has been rumored, that a few people out there have never had a zit in their life.  For those three people I would like to say that it is not a pleasant experience.  The fact is that getting rid of these colorful little monsters is an endeavor that consumes a good portion of adolescent lives and adult moneys.  It is estimated that to raise a child to the age of eighteen costs a mere $170,000; for those three zitless wonders mentioned above, probably only half that.  Get the picture?  Zits are good for the economy.

Definitely, this seems to be a very good way to explore the definition of "zit": What is a zit good for? For the average pubescent citizen the answer is usually a resounding, "NOTHING!"  I, on the other hand, like to think of myself as an optimistic functionalist.  If God permitted zits, they must serve some purpose besides diversifying the medical profession.

When I look in the mirror the thought that comes to mind is, "Gads, look at all those zits!"  Thoughts of my visible imperfection come to mind, and  I wonder how I will ever face my peers with any hope of love and acceptance.  I must realize, however, that everyone else (except those three people somewhere out there) has had zits and experienced these same insecurities.  It is as if God is saying, "Look in the mirror.  You're not perfect; neigher is Joe; neither is Mary.  No one is perfect!"

The truth of this realization is evident.  No one is perfect.  But this realization is not just of the human exterior, for inside we all have zits too: greed, envy, selfishness, etc.  Those elements of our personality that detract from our inner beauty to others, much like zits detract from our outer beauty.

The question comes to mind, if we are flawed on the inside, or in our souls, is there then a "mirror" to see these blemishes?  Perhaps, as some writers have suggested, writing is that mirror.  Putting yourself on paper could allow you to step back and look at yourself.  Writing, though, is more like a painting, a self-portrait if you will, than a true reflection, and most of us are terrible artists with biased perspectives.

Well then, perhaps meditation is the true mirror.  Meditation, however, can only allow us to reflect on those reactions and attitudes toward our own inner complexions.  The famous sociologist, George Herbert Mead, called this the "looking glass self" --see ourselves as others see us.  If meditation is the mirror then we must trust another's eyesight for their description of our inner-face.  Is there, then, any true mirror to reflect what is inside every man?  How do we see our spiritual ites without some sort of mirror?

It would seem that the answer would lie outside of our souls themselves, an objective surface which will reflect our subjective self.  I have found such a surface in the Bible.  "Wait!" you say, "That mirror's cracked and clouded at best.  You'll never get a good reflection from that!"  I say that your really haven't ever seen the mirror.  It is not cracked or clouded, but full of truth and clarity concerning the human condition: our condition.

For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. -- James 1:23, 24 (NASB)

  The Bible is a mirror for our souls.  It exposes the zits of our inner-face.  Without it we may feel our zits and even the pain they bring, but we cannot see the ugliness of our spirits.  Without seeing ourselves as we really are we will not seek help for our zit-ridden condition.  It was not the careless comment of an ingnorant child that caused me to seek a doctor for my zits, it was looking in a mirror day after day and seeing my acne in painful detail.  The best thing about the spiritual mirror, though, is not the clarity of its reflection but the fact that it is engraved with the name of the only dermatologist in town.